Alternative Valentine´s Day

14 Feb 2011


Yes, ladies, we haven’t failed to notice a certain date creeping up on us. Maybe it was the slight chill of the February evenings that served as a reminder, or perhaps it was a heightened feeling of romance… Actually it was the comprehensive list of gift ideas you happened to leave lying around.

Roses are red, violets are blue. Wake me up with the Advent Vega and a brew…

As a gender, us men accept that Valentine’s Day is the day you treat your better half to chocolates, flowers and massages. We’re modern men, so we’re not adverse to a bit of romance.

However, in return for all the love hearts and teddy bears, we’d like to propose a special day in return – preferably on the following Saturday when we can have a lie-in, a cooked breakfast and watch the football with our mates.

This is how I imagine it will go…

Good days don’t start with the sound of an alarm clock, but instead with the smell of fresh coffee wafting into the bedroom. I’m happy sitting up in bed, reading the day’s news on my Advent Vega while sipping on a cappuccino.

After digesting the most important points from all the quality newspapers (and secretly the latest celebrity gossip from the red tops), it’s time for breakfast. Normally I’m a man who enjoys a healthy breakfast, but with it being such a special day you’ve decided it’s time to get the bacon and eggs out of the fridge and into the frying pan.

You may not usually be a fan of “that silly war game” I play when you’ve got Corrie on the television, but because I spent so much time picking out your gifts for Valentine’s Day you’ll tolerate me spending the rest of the morning playing Call of Duty: Black Ops.

Later on, my mates will arrive just in time for the big match. You’ve rather lovingly filled the drinks chiller with a selection of European lagers for us to enjoy the game with. You’re simply too kind.

The game was a belter and you’ve not complained about our late shouts for a penalty as if we were at the match. But now is the time to play the latest tunes I’ve discovered on internet radio for my friends…

Thanks to the rather wonderful home cinema system – which you bought for me as a special present – the boys can feel the full effect of the bass line.

After singing along to a few indie rock classics, the lads head off home.

But what’s that I can smell cooking in the kitchen? I do believe it’s a sirloin steak under the grill. The steak is accompanied by chips and onion rings from the Philips Airfryer, making for a mouth-watering meal. All served with a bottle of red from the wine cellar, of course.

With the plates in the dishwasher, all that’s left for the day is to settle down in front of the television and watch a Blu-ray film. I’m sure you won’t mind me breaking out my favourite Steven Seagal movie – Today You Die. A modern classic.

Same again next year? You’re too good to me.

What would be involved in your Alternative Valentine’s Day? Or do you enjoy the traditional romance enough without a different occasion? Comment below…