Do real men use grooming products?

14 Jan 2011


There was a time when being a man was all about showing no fear and having an uncompromising character. All it took to prepare for a big night out was a quick shave with a disposable razor and a slap of Brut on each cheek.

Yes sir, we looked up to hard-as-nails heroes. Clint Eastwood would stare a hole right through you if you asked him what moisturiser he used. The only hairdryer Stuart ‘Psycho’ Pearce knew was the treatment he gave to whinging prima donnas.

Those were the icons I grew up with, but apparently it’s no longer enough. The other day my better half branded my nose hair “embarrassing” and demanded I “sort out” my rugged golden locks. And with that she chucked a men’s fashion magazine at me. Ouch!

Now don’t get me wrong, I appreciate that even good looks like mine have to be fine tuned, but just how much grooming should a real man do?

Well, flicking through the pages of David Beckham wannabes and the extras from The Only Way Is Essex, I noticed a mix of facial hair styles.

Perhaps I’ve been going wrong letting mine grow for a few days before hacking it off with a plastic piece of kit from the newsagent. Using a beard trimmer to shave patterns onto your face looks like great fun!

I could spend hours recreating George Clooney’s ever-so-slightly rough look with my stubble trimmer, or go for the jugular and copy Poirot’s spectacular ‘tache…. But if it goes wrong and I start to look a little Craig David, I can re-e-wind and get rid of it all with my shaver. Smooth.

Rumour has it Craig David spent Seven Days growing the facial hair needed for his beard

I don’t concede ground on many things, but I suppose my girlfriend has a point, there’s no place for nose or ear hair in the modern age. Time to pick up a trimmer to buzz away the unsightly hair? Maybe… On the other hand, that would rob me of an excuse for not hearing my girlfriend when she wants me to put the bins out though…

If I’m going for designer stubble, I might as well have the Hollywood smile to go with it. Even real men don’t want bad breath or yellow teeth.

I’ve got a habit of pressing too hard with my toothbrush and ripping out bristles, no doubt due to my incredible strength. So an electric toothbrush which warns me when I’m applying too much pressure should be just the gadget to help me dazzle with my winning smile.

Should a real man use a grooming kit? Well, I guess so. James Bond doesn’t go round with his nose hair drooping into his Martini, and he seems to do OK with the ladies.

Times change and real men should change with it, particularly if it’s an excuse to get your hands on a few more cool gadgets along the way.

Now, where’s my moisturiser gone to? I’ve got really dry skin today…

Is it OK for real men to use health and beauty products or have I gone a bit soft? Where do you draw the line when it comes to looking good? Comment below…

Related article: Beauty is in the eye of the holder of the hair straighteners…