Keep up with the Joneses with squeaky clean floors
Whether your home is ideal or just average these appliances will help you get the floors clean
The living rooms and kitchens that'll keep us one step ahead of the neighbours in 2013 have been getting us hot and bothered at the Ideal Home Show.
Thousands have trekked to Earls Court hell-bent they won't be leaving 'til they have chapter and verse on the interiors and furniture to send next door spinning into a jealous strop.
But there's no point spending all that cash to keep up with the Joneses if you're not going to keep it clean and tidy - so here are a few appliances to make the farce of floor cleaning a little more fun (well, sort of).
Don't be floored by cleaning
At Earls Court we've apologetically tiptoed over floors made of everything from tiles to timber, mouthing a silent (and pretty stupid looking) 'sorry' as we go.
Whether we live in a sleek and sophisticated Ideal Homes-style pad or a crumbling old terrace, we walk on our floors all the time so they naturally get pretty dirty. Because of this they need cleaning all the time too, in fact they're more demanding than a rock god's tour rider or a brattish Hollywood A-lister.
But if you have the right appliances you'll soon have their prima donna behaviour knocked in to touch.
Scrub out mopping with the Vax Pro Steam
Scrubbing floors before next door pops over for a nosey at your new sofa is a filthy job - as you'll know if you've ever been promised a dirty weekend only to have the mop bucket and bleach thrust into your arms as your partner disappears for emergency Mr Kipling cakes.
But those days of chapped hands and bad knees are now a thing of the past, thanks to the Vax Bare Floor Pro Steam.
Harnessing the power of steam, the Vax sweats so you don't have to. Whether cleaning laminate floors, lino or tiles, it combines steam with detergent to make an absolute mug out of your most stubborn of stains.
Instead of getting on your knees with a bucket of suds and scouring pads, just pour water and detergent into the twin tanks to banish stains and germs from your floor.
You don't even have to bend down to clean corners of rooms thanks to an arrowhead-shaped design. Of course, this also means you can keep a respectable distance when cleaning behind the toilet and down the sides of the cooker, while lapping up heroic praise for tackling the universally loathed 'dirty jobs'.
With the Vax Bare Floor Pro in your life it really is time the mop kicked the bucket.
Velvety vacuuming with the Miele S700
But there's no point polishing your floor if you've not vacuumed first. A mock-up of the Trotter brothers' flat is also on display at Earls Court, but unlike Del Boy and Rodney, steam and scraps of food are no great double act when combined on your floor.
Go over it first with the Miele S700 Cat & Dog vacuum cleaner and you'll be tripping the light fantastic - dancing with joy rather than falling over, that is.
With 2000W of sheer power throbbing away inside, it's surprising you don't need a licence to handle this cleaning beast. It's also a dab hand at getting up pet hair, but with a name like Cat & Dog you'd probably already gathered.
Neighbours are as judgmental about smells as they are spaniel hair, but the vacuum features a charcoal filter to keep the air fresh - even if her from number 42 has her nose up in it.
When you're done in the kitchen you can adjust the brush-heads to the right height for the living room carpet with a simple tap of the foot. No need to worry about losing the accessories either; they're stored in the top of the vacuum itself.
Such natty design and intuitive features are typical of Miele, and the cylinder vacuum looks good enough to sit alongside the bespoke sofas and coffee tables of the Ideal Home Show's dream living rooms as well as the iconic Nelson Mandela House flat.
You've spent the afternoon cleaning the house and then the kids or your better half come into the kitchen and start hacking slices from a crusty loaf.
Your blood boils as their crumbs fall on your newly vacuumed floor and all over worktops so polished you can see your furious, reddening face in them.
Instead of having a night-ruining barney over their blatant disregard for your efforts, why not reach for the AEG AG941 handheld bag-less vacuum and laugh the whole thing off?
It keeps itself to itself on a charging dock, but when the crumbs fall it's ready to leap into action and avert World War Three kicking off in your kitchen. With no cord and a rechargeable battery, the AEG AG941 goes where you want when you want - it's as faithful and obedient as a family Labrador.
They say cleanliness is next to godliness and whether your home is ideal or just average these appliances will help you get the floors clean enough to keep up appearances with the most exacting of Hyacinth Buckets, (pronounced "Bouquet" of course).